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History
The Call of Danube World History SYNOPSIS: The Call of Danube is based on a post-apocalyptic environment, in which civilizations have been felled and pushed to fringe of survival, but the atmosphere of the world is not dark and gloomy, but bright, humorous, and challenging. The First Great Glitch At some point during the early 21st century, a catastrophic event occurred at the very core of the universe and reality. Known as the Great Glitch, for an unknown cause, reality’s laws changed themselves, and such acts like magic became reality. Control over the environment and elements became widespread, and utter chaos ensued, plunging the world into utter chaos for three centuries. Most nations were destroyed in the anarchy that ensued the granting of mass power. The Tater Empire of Ireland formed under the leadership of the wise and powerful Potato Mystics, headed by the immensely deadly, yet virtuous, Potato Liches, the ascension that most Potato Mystics dreamt of becoming. Worshipping the power of the Potato Plane and following the Grand Spud Emperor, the Tater Empire became the stable nation left in the world: all its citizens were extremely healthy, the magical foods created by the potato mystics creating magically inclined peoples. Canada was granted gifts of a more obscure magic: delicious prophecy and flapfusion. Canada’s seers, soon called Maple Storytellers, were able to make vague predictions of the future and enhance the powers of others by the sauces and toppings they ate, and the words they spoke, respectively. Flapfusion became a widely taken process by Canada’s military, the only stable military in the western hemisphere at the time. Flapfusion allowed the consumption of food to unlock hidden powers, but only to those of good will. The most powerful food known to the flapfusionists are pancakes, and thus granted the birth of the Ironcake, Canada’s elite and holy unit that allowed it to, with the aid of the predictive powers of their Storytellers, sweep across America and Mexico to conquer. Ironcakes’ power depends on their upholding to justice and good, and so all of Canada’s advances were made cautious, taking control in chaotic areas to put down evil magic users, and then taking permanent territory to ensure that order was maintained. From a high-powered magicman’s spell, Africa was torn apart approximately fifty years into the First Great Glitch, and much of the land rearranged itself around Madagascar. It was then that the secrets of the Madagascar residents became known: they had mastered the power of mutating themselves with animals: Lemurs, primarily. These “Lemchers” spread over the ravaged, former African landscape, adding to their mutations by consuming animal blood, some transforming entirely into animal humanoids, only comparable to the legendary lycanthropes, but with far more control. Lemcher tribes began to spread out of Madagascar and dot all over what remained of Africa. Due to their savage nature in diplomacy at times, the tribes have been unable to agree upon a leader or unification. Some tribes have been known to go to war against each other. All of Asia below Russia was destroyed approximately sixty-four years after the First Great Glitch during several massive battles between magelords who had taken over a great deal of territory. Islands nearby were consumed, including Japan. What remains is known as the Gargantuan Swamp of Ashy Doom, a massive swamp of water and ash and survived ruins from the collapsed half-continent. Russia enclosed itself from the world, bent on saving themselves from their issues. Magic was quickly and severely condemned to the point that it became manageable. With the nation in quick recovery, it didn’t become consumed in raw power. Russia’s people began to learn to work technology - modern and old - with the powers the Great Glitch gave. They then used their knowledged to seal themselves off in a protective sphere around their entire country. Russia finally let down its sphere after two hundred and eighty nine years, ready to use their power to test against what remained of the world’s unified peoples. They would never be able to use this opportunity. The Second Great Glitch Another Glitch struck a month and a half after Russia dispersed its barriers. The magic went away to all but those apted toward it. Magic quickly fell from widely available to heavily sparse. Russia pulled back, much of their technology worthless after the infusions with Glitch magic. Those that retained the power to infuse weaponry with Glitch magic under heavy discipline and use after rigorous training became known as the Metasoldiers, Russia’s prided unit of war. Meanwhile, in the main portion of Europe, consisting of Spain, France, Germany, and Sweden (for the rest had turned to wasteland and ruin from magical battle), stability was finally refounded as the magic fell away. A new movement rapidly rose, however: those who worshipped the Glitch lost their old powers, but gained new, holy-themed ones. They manipulated small glitches into reality to make life better. Glitching a missing arm caused it to re-exist, and so forth. The Church of the Great Glitch quickly spread across what remained of Europe, and thus the Holy Glitchindom was formed, yet it did not last. The Third Great Glitch (The Rise of Danube) The Apocalypse. Four years after the Holy Glitchindom formed, and six years after the Second Great Glitch, danube-shaped danube of much danube fell onto the world, and many were danubed. No intellectual mind is capable of comprehending danube. But did danube the world, cry world. Yes. Men struck by danube were no longer men. They were changed, danubed. The initial onslaught of Danube were vicious. Danube did danube other men, and many were danubed. The world, too, danubed. Russia crumbled first. Few Russians lived. Survivors fled to Holy Glitchindom. Ireland seemed to attract danube, and so Russia added to Ireland, but added land of wild danubing. And so did land of danube danube more. America, in one, swift moment, danubed. All of it. Nobody knows where it went. It was just gone. The Lemcher Islands and the lands of Holy Glitchdom danubed together like a puzzle, but refrained from striking Ireland immediately. They circle Ireland, bit by bit of land danubing to become more danube in Ireland. The Holy Glitchindom fell, and the Church of the Great Glitch migrated to the Tater Empire, and it quickly stole away the influence from potato plane worship. Practically outcasts, Potato Mystics now wander the world, trying to bring back the Good News of the Potato. Those Mystics infuriated by the loss of their grand worship have turned to vodkaweaving and rummagicianing, a dark form of potato mysticing. They strike against the Church of the Great Glitch, wishing to see its downfall and expellment from Ireland. The Tater Empire did not survive the Danube in terms of military, and all of the Arch-Potato Liches died, making it far easier for the Church to take influence and root. For twenty-five years, Ireland has been in peril from consuming the world and filling with Danube. Canada has been silent, recovering from their loss, but they have drawn close to Ireland, to be danubed as well. During these years, another type of magic arose. The most dangerous of all magic: danubemancy. Only the most unintelligent can wield danube, for the intelligent are driven mad by it. Danubemancy seems to act off the emotions of the caster, and thus Danubemancers, especially powerful ones, have become feared by common folk, but not outlawed, for the naturally gifted in danubemancy cannot choose to danube, but simply danube because danube. The Third and a Half Glitch Somehow, Australia was overpowered and all its denizens were slaughtered by the Emu master race. Which were then danubed. Nobody knows into what. And nobody knows what Australia was doing for the past three centuries, or if they even had a clue as to what was going on in the world, considering their mortal emu enemies. The Fourth Great Glitch (The Call of Danube) Another Great Glitch has recently arrived: some of the Danubekind have become intelligent, beginning to form civilizations of their own. Some are friendly, and others are terrifying. The ever-expanding Ireland is the seeming home to this new age order.